5-Signs You Are Holding on to Victim for Dear Life

You did it.  You took the first step and left him behind and I want to congratulate you for the courageous step you took when you left your toxic, emotionally abusive partner.

It was a bad relationship and you were consistently criticized, bullied, ridiculed, and abandoned.  You decided that it was time to say goodbye to your abuser and walk out the door.  You decided you want and deserve a better life.

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5-Signs that You are Guilty of Holding On:

  1. You won’t stop talking about it.  The incident I mean.  You want to tell everyone who will listen and even those who don’t want to but are stuck! You get upset or angry when you feel you’re not getting sympathy.
  2. You fully embrace your victim label.  You hold onto your story and keep telling it so you can rationalize your “victimness” and hang on to it for dear life.
  3. You haven’t moved forward.  Not one little step.  You can only be a validated victim if you stay right where you are. You have many excuses why you “can’t”
  4. You haven’t set any new goals.  No new action steps to change your life.  You haven’t set a dream or rekindled a passion.  Nothing.  Just stuck.
  5. You are losing friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances.  People are jumping ship.

When you leave a toxic, painful relationship, you leave with scars on your heart but you also leave with your Free Will to Create a Life You Love.  But in order to embrace your new happiness and heal your scars, you have to leave your story in the past.  You have to let go of your victim; she’s holding you back.

It takes courage and grace to let Victim go but when you do, you will enhance your life, capture your happiness, embrace and activate your big + bold + blissful story.

Courage & Grace to Leave Your Victim

It’s scary to let go of something familiar and let yourself fall freely into your new story.  But it is the best and only thing to do when you want to embrace and love yourself and your life unconditionally.

While you’re holding on to your “victim”, you are closing off a space for your Rebel Thriver to Flourish and grow. Thrivers love themselves unconditionally.  They recognize that they have taken big, bold, courageous steps to freedom and they celebrate their tenacity.  Thrivers create a life that has meaning to them. They wake up in the morning ready for their next adventure. They are fully and completely alive.

Rebel Thrivers know what they want, what is acceptable and how they will achieve their goals.

Your Thriver Blossoms When You Release Your Victim

I cannot express to you the joy and the fun you will have in your life when you decide to let your victim go. You will absolutely flourish. You will see how bright your future is and pursue it wholeheartedly.

I know it’s scary.  I held on for way too long and when I look back I realize I wasted so much time and effort on anger, sorrow, whys and being a victim.  Once you release your victim, you will see all the possibilities that are available to you.  And your hands and heart will be open to grabbing on to them.

You are amazing and you’re on your way to a fantastic life built by you, for you.

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May 6, 2016
  • Love the “rebel thriver” archetype in this piece! And it’s so true, we can only unconditionally love ourselves when we empower ourselves to live without constantly blaming another.

    • Susan Ball says:

      Hi Kirstie, thanks! We spend too much our time blaming others when the time would be better spent loving ourselves and creating a life we absolutely love.

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